The Weakest Link 2!
by That One Changeling
Summary: Ten more contestants have an opportunity to win up to two million dollars. However, anything can happen when nine of them must leave with nothing.


_Here are the ten creatures preparing for tonight's show. Only one of them can win up to two million dollars. Will it be either of a pair of Twilight Sparkle wannabes? Or will it be either of a pair of the Blue Blur's potential girlfriends? Find out here and now on The Weakest Link._

* * *

I stared at the camera impatiently, waiting for the guy behind it to give me the "thumbs-up". He finally did. "Welcome to The Weakest Link," I announced confidently. "Any of the ten freaks surrounding me right now, could win up to $2,000,000. But if they want that money, they'll have to work as a team, but... nine of them will leave with nothing, as round by round, we lose the player voted the Weakest Link. Let's meet the team."

I turned around to face the entire team of creatures. They all presented their bios in a wacky fashion.

"Hi, I'm Wave the Swallow. I'm the smartest one here, and that two mil is as good as mine."

"Hi, I'm Amy. I'm the cutest one here, and that Sonic is as good as mine."

"I'm Sally Acorn, and no, he's _mine_."

"My name is Blaze the Cat, and I hate losers who yap about who's getting someone completely irrelevant to the topic at hand right now."

"I'm Marine the Raccoon. I'm _not_ from Australia, contrary to popular belief, but I _am_ always up for adventure!"

"I'm Sticks. You can't kill me."

"I'm Miles Prower. Uh, but my friends call me Tails."

"My name is Rouge the Bat. But you can call me Rouge."

"I'm Zooey the Fox. There's a big piece of poo between me and Tails, and I intend to flush it down the toilet."

"And I'm Maria... Maria the Hedgehog." As the camera zoomed out, accompanied by the familiar four-tone jingle, I could hear her rather softly: "Let's go Wings."

"Alright ladies, you know how we play this game," I started in a taunting manner. "In each round, the objective is to answer enough questions correctly to reach your $200,000 target within the time limit. The fastest way to do this is to create a chain of ten correct answers."

 **$200,000**  
$75,000  
$50,000  
$25,000  
$15,000  
$10,000  
$7500  
$5000  
$2500  
$1000

"Get your question wrong," I continued in a warning tone, "and you will break the chain and lose all your progress. But, if you say the word 'bank' (note the German pronunciation) before your question is asked, the money is safe, however you'll have to start a new chain from zero. But most importantly, only money that has been banked (again, German pronunciation) by the end of each round can be won in the endgame. You will have nine rounds to bank as much money as you can, unless in the case of mishaps, do-overs, double eliminations, or anything of the sort." Given how rare these were, I expected that line to be a staple in my rules routine.

"In round one, there are three minutes on the clock. The order in which you are playing was randomly determined before the show. That said, we'll start with the unobliterable..." wait for it... "Sticks." I continued very slowly at this point. "Let's play The Weakest Link."

I waited for the dun-dun-dun-dun before actually starting the game. "The first question is for $1000..." Since all of my game shows contained zero commercial breaks, it was my idea to drag them out as long as I felt necessary. "Start the clock."

"Sticks, in maths, how much is one plus one?"

"Uh, two," as if having to think for a moment on the most basic question ever.

"Correct." I move on to the next freak to my right. "Tails, in almost all versions of the TV quiz show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, the contestant must answer how many questions to win the top prize?"

"Fifteen."

"Correct."

"Bank," shouted the next freak in a tone that sounded like she was understandably from New Orleans. (Bank: $2500)

"Rouge, in which sport is the objective to put the ball in the hole in as few shots as possible?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the awesomeness of my shiny pink plate." Anyone could tell that statement was forced. "Can you repeat that for me?"

"I can..." Since I was legally required to repeat the question once if asked, I went on as if nothing happened. "In which sport is the objective to put the ball in the hole in as few shots..."

Before I could complete the question a second time, Rouge suddenly blurted out, "Basketball!"

"Golf." Right then I knew I was in for another one of those. "Zooey, what 1997 blockbuster recounts the tale of a ship that sank on its maiden voyage in 1912?"

The fox with the orthodox number of tails thought for a second. "Save Our Ship."

"Titanic." I reached the end of the line of contestants before continuing. "Maria, what L is the younger of the Super Mario Bros.?"

"Luigi," she answered after some thought.

"Correct." I had to turn the podium all the way to the other end of the line before giving the swallow in front of me her first question. "Wave, which of the following is not a theme present in any of the Call of Duty games: advanced wafare, chemical warfare, or modern warfare?"

"Chemical warfare."

"Correct." Even I didn't know that. "Amy, what is the name of the famous hedgehog that is blue, collects rings, and goes fast?" Insert Dankey Kang here.

"Oh, I know that! It's um... who is it?" I didn't think her colorblindness had extended to her long-term memory. "Oh, it's that Sony guy... uh, Mr. Tanaka!"

"Nope, Crash Bandicoot," I stated in a joking manner.

"It is not!"

Not giving a shit about whatever she had to say after that performance, I continued. "Sally, which of the following is a noble gas: hydrogen or helium?"

"Uh, hydrogen."

"Helium!" And I thought we were getting somewhere. "Blaze, the Kingdom of Acorn is an example of what type of government: a presidency or a monarchy?"

To which the cat quickly responded, "Monarchy."

"Correct. Marine, am I a kid or am I a squid?" Just to clear things up, yes I did write all these questions.

"You're..." the raccoon started, but then caught herself to do some thinking. I thought she would've come up with a horrifying combination of both. "Uh, you're a hedgehog."

"Correct!"

"Ooh, goody!" For some reason the audience really liked that remark.

Meanwhile I continued through the line, coming back to where the round started. "Sticks, the unit of digital information known as a megabyte is approximate to how many bytes?"

"Can you repeat that?" the badger inquired after some thought.

"The unit of digital information known as a megabyte," I was making an effort to enunciate every syllable this time around, "is approximate to how many bytes?"

"One million," she snapped just as I finished reading the question a second time.

"Correct." The actual answer, of course, was 1,048,576, but the question had asked for the approximate answer, rendering the exact number "acceptable". "Tails..."

"Bank." (Bank: $7500)

"The racing game Mario Kart 8 gives the player the choice of vehicle between karts, bikes, and what other vehicles?"

"Off-road vehicles."

"I'll accept." The answer provided to me, which I happened to know, was ATVs, which are known for being driven on a wider variety of terrains than most other vehicles.

"Bank," shouted the bat in between the vixen and the twin-tailed fox. (Bank: $8500)

"Rouge, what singer-songwriter and guitarist went platinum 13 times over with Purple Rain and at one point changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol?"

"Michael Jackson."

"I wish!" No, I didn't wish. As far as I was concerned, Michael Jackson could go fuck himself. "No, the answer is Prince. Zooey, in 1962 Wilt Chamberlain set a record when he scored exactly 100 points by himself in what sport?"

"Golf?"

"Basketball!" An obvious reference to Rouge missing her first question. "Maria, green, orange, and purple are classified as what type of colors: primary or secondary?"

"Secondary."

"Correct." I turned the podium all the way back to Wave again. "Wave, in military time, 0000 hours is the expression used to signify what time?"

Immediately as I finished, she replied, "Midnight."

"Correct. Amy, the classical composer famous for composing nine symphonies as well as Für Elise and the Moonlight Sonata is Ludwig van what?"

"How do you expect me to know that?!" the hedgehog in pink snapped. "It's Beethoven."

"Yeah, it's Beethoven."

"What?! I thought Beethoven was a dog?" she exclaimed, revealing that it was a total guess, but it didn't matter in the slightest.

As the murmur among the audience died down, the squirrel next to Amy shouted, "Bank." (Bank: $13,500)

"Sally, the TV series in which Will Smith stars as a street-smart teenager from Philadelphia is The Fresh Prince of what Los Angeles neighborhood noted for its affluence?"

"Uh..." was all she could say as the time expired, accentuated by the dun-dun-dun-dun.

"Time is up," I announced. "The correct answer is Bel Air. You managed to bank $13,500. That's a nice three-minute paycheck... until you remember that you could've won $200,000.

"Is there a village that needs its idiot back?!" I roared. Some of the freaks in the audience kicked themselves over not being able to think of that to say to the contestants.

"One of you is about to leave with nothing. It's time to vote off the Weakest Link."

* * *

 _The team will have to rely on memory and instinct as they make this decision, but the statistics show that Rouge is the game's first weakest link, as she got the most questions wrong while eating up the most time. Conversely, the strongest link is Wave. But which of these freaks will get the boot first?_

* * *

"Ok, the vote is up. Please reveal whom you think is the Weakest Link."

They all revealed their votes, one by one:

 **Zooey** (Wave's vote)

 **Sally** (Amy's vote)

 **Amy** (Sally's vote)

 **Rouge** (Blaze's vote)

 **Rouge** (Marine's vote)

 **Rouge** (Sticks' vote)

 **Rouge** (Tails' vote)

 **Zooey** (Rouge's vote)

 **Rouge** (Zooey's vote)

 **Zooey** (Maria's vote)

It was time for the interrogation round to begin. "Sticks."

"You can't kill me, so don't even try."

 _You've already said that._ "Is this an episode of Doctor Who, where Z the Battlebot vaporizes the losers?"

"I hope not!"

"Because that show would get reprimanded for nine counts of wrongful death on a monthly basis." And we wouldn't want that, now would we? "What's your claim to fame?"

She went on, as if she'd rehearsed this. "I know you have your doubts, but I'll protect you anyway because I'm a good friend, and because it distracts me from the government agents that are replacing my plants with violins."

"Is it any more interesting than it sounds?" I inquired.

"They're replacing my plants with violins!"

"Only the better to make music with!" _Thank you, thank you. Autographs after the show._ "Why do you want to get rid of Rouge?"

"She's distracting, and it's clear she's not in it to play." Then why is she here? "Did anyone catch how long she took on an easy question?"

"I caught how long you took on an easier question." I folded my arms in satisfaction. "Zooey, tell me more about this big piece of poo that you'd like to flush down the toilet."

And so Zooey went on, rambling. "I don't know if I like what she did with Tails some time ago."

"What's wrong with Rouge the Bat taking a sweet young fox like Tails to a nice dinner?" I figured that never happened, but what she was thinking was probably as unfunny as Sally's funny kiss.

"I think I'm a better fit for him," she replied, defensively.

"I think you're jealous."

Obviously agitated, she went on, "It was part of some big event and she, well..."

"You're extremely jealous," I interrupted again.

"It's not that, it's...!"

"Uh-huh. Tails..." I moved along rather quickly, "what was on your mind when you voted for Rouge?"

"I don't admire my own body, unlike some people." He nudged his head directly towards Rouge.

"You didn't consider voting for Zooey, who didn't get a single question correct?"

"Because I'm not stupid." This time all the contestants laughed along with the audience.

I took a semi-deep breath, and stared directly in Bat-Face face to face. "So Rouge, this is the point where I say, what were you bloody thinking?!" I genuinely didn't know, and neither did most anyone here. "With five votes, you are the Weakest Link. Goodbye."

"They're absolutely right," Rouge rambled when confronted by the camera guy backstage. "I wasn't in it to play. I only agreed to do this if I could mention my shiny pink plate on TV." She folded her arms. In satisfaction or what, I don't know. "I think I've done my job."


End file.
